The mall has been evacuated, all useful supplies scavenged from its husk. The few survivors have staggered off to their homes, or, more realistically, the ruins of their homes. I myself have returned to Prosperity to aid the reconstruction project in whatever way I can. Unfortunately, healing and construction are not my strong points. I have tried to be a leader of men, organizing people and assigning tasks, but I do not have a firm enough grasp on what tasks need accomplishing, so I fear that I am doing more harm than good.

So, naturally, my mind inevitably contemplates murder. I have no talent for helping these people rebuild their lives, but I have all of my many years of experience in combat, hunting, and slaying my enemies. If I cannot help undo the crime, then I should focus on punishing the criminal. And so I shall.

Perhaps it is personal bias speaking, but I refuse to accept that Sephiroth was the one who committed these many atrocities. I have only ever known him as one of the most skilled warriors to ever grace my glorious Arena. I have never been the sort who assumes that power is inherently evil; if I did, I would have to call myself one of the most evil in the world. I did not, therefore, assume that Sephiroth was guilty merely because he had the power to execute these crimes. All I have heard up to this point is hearsay and rumors. All of it points to Sephiroth, yet my heart still cannot call him guilty.

I wish to have more information. Vincent seems well versed on the subject of Sephiroth. I will ask him what he knows, next time we meet.

I had almost forgotten that I had this blog, so long has it been since my last post. Ah, no matter. Today is a day worthy of reviving my blog because, once again, an earth-shattering catastrophe has destroyed the mall. This seems to be a routine event. I hope NORG has a good insurance policy.

My employees and I were in the Arena, trying to make sense of the gibberish code that composes my Arena Simulator. There is some bad code somewhere in that mess that prevents us from holding another tournament. At least, that is what the others tell me. The lazy programmers who built this monstrosity have been nowhere in sight for months, leaving the job of maintaining this beast up to myself and my employees. That is why we haven't been active lately.

I was ankle-deep in wires, trying to untangle a knot the size of my head, when we all became aware of a rumbling in the ground. We emerged from the Arena to investigate. In the mall hallway, people were beginning to panic, running to and fro and screaming like idiots.

The Arena, with its solid construction and open underground area, is one of the best places imaginable for riding out an earthquake, so I began shepherding people into my store to wait out this quake. After a few seconds, I began to notice a crushing pressure above my head, as if something massive were descending from the sky. Acting quickly, I rushed as many people as I could to the Arena and brought them down into the underground area. That is when the first of the mall's rafters and supports began to flatten like old soda cans. Metal screeched and chunks of the ceiling crashed down to the floor.

We sealed off the underground area and braced ourselves. Above us we could hear the mall compressing. The temperature in the underground area rose to unbearable levels, forcing us to use ice magic to keep from burning alive. We were intensely aware of an enormous mass above our heads, coming down upon us with tremendous force, dwarfing the mall with its sheer size. 

I, of course, remained perfectly calm, but the others began screaming and portending their own doom. I grabbed my sword and prepared myself for whatever was falling from the sky. There is but one exit from the underground area, so if the mass continued to descend, we would surely all be crushed. Hopeless as the situation may have been, I would not go down without a fight.

The heat continued to rise and the sounds of metal screeching were joined by the screams of agonized customers in the mall who had been unable to flee or find refuge in time. I could hear as horrible, fiery winds swept through the hallways above, causing further damage. After an interminable amount of time, I could sense as the mass approached ground level. Any closer and it would break  through the ceiling of my underground shelter and become visible. Part of me wished it would come closer so that I could see the nature of this evil, but at the same time I am no fool, and I knew that whatever force this was would likely kill everyone in the room if it approached any closer.

The mass pressed against the ground for several seconds, grinding the remnants of the mall under its weight like someone crushing out a cigarette. Then, without warning, it retreated. The sound of its fury abated, and the air cooled. The few customers I'd managed to save began to weep like infants. I attempted to return to the ground level of my store, but the entrance had been flattened with tons of twisted metal, then welded shut by the incredible heat of the attack. It seems we are trapped down here for the time being.

It is of little concern to me. I can slice through metal easily enough, so we shall be free whenever I deign to free us. However, I feel it is prudent to wait a little while longer, in the event that the mass returns. In the meantime, I have found one of my computers and logged on to make this post. The internet is still available, so the destruction can't have been too incredible.

It speaks volumes of how incompetent my hirelings are when their boss--me--can go essentially comatose for months without any of those worthless bastards noticing.

Quite some time ago (I don't know how long as my perception of time has been fundamentally altered) we were troubleshooting the VR system before an upcoming three-on-three Arena Tournament. There was a glitch that caused the program to reboot with me still plugged in. My consciousness and body were separated. All my memories, my thoughts, and my personality were digitized and left to exist in the endless lines of code that form the basis of the VR system, while my brainless body was left to wander the real world aimlessly. My underlings noticed no great change in me, despite the fact that "I" was functionally braindead at the time. Had they simply plugged my body back into the VR machine, perhaps I could have rejoined my body and saved myself an endless amount of misery. Instead, they assumed I was tired of troubleshooting and they set my body aside while they continued to run tests. When they noticed my distinct lack of ambition, vitality, and responsiveness, they usurped my authority and began running the Arena without my input.

Meanwhile, I was damned to live without a body in an endless void filled with programming nonsense, meaningless digits, and symbols I've never seen before. I existed at the speed of light, so what was mere months in the real world, was many, many, many centuries for me. I was unaware of the outside world and unable to influence anything, even the VR system itself. As it turns out, the VR program is somewhat sentient, and able to root out and destroy "harmful" code. I was promptly labeled as such, and have spent the past few millenia evading the tireless efforts of a machine bent of my utter destruction. A lesser man may have been driven insane by the experience, but I am not a lesser man.

Apparently the recent collapse of the Chaos world, or whatever it was, broke my mind free of the VR machine, whereupon I was reunited with my body. I am not insane, but I am extremely pissed off. As soon as I find a way off this mountain, wherever the hell it is, I shall unleash my wrath upon my worthless employees.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

A thousand times "no" and a thousand times again. No.

If there is one thing I hate, it is contagious disease. I can't stab a microbe, (and believe me when I say that I have indeed tried) so they are my greatest enemy. Since there are no customers at the moment, the Arena shall remain CLOSED and thoroughly OFF-LIMITS to all you unwashed masses until further notice.

In the meantime, the Arena staff and I shall plan out our long overdue Team Tournament. Do not approach the Arena with questions about the tournament. Do not approach the Arena at all.

So the octopus left the Arena of his own volition, which is the only way he and I could have parted that wouldn't have violated the terms of my contract. I assure you, despite the octopus' claims to the contrary, I did not treat him any better or worse than my other employees. He seems to live in his own little reality where he is either the grand hero of every tale or the main villain, but never the side character that he truly is. In truth, I am neither glad nor depressed to see him go. He simply never made much impression on me.

Well NORG couldn't let this go so easily. He called me to his office where we had a four hour "discussion" in which he accused me of everything from employee harassment and unsafe working conditions to human rights violations and war crimes (I am not exaggerating). We both armed up with lawyers, and despite NORG's deeper pockets, he simply had no legal ground to accuse me of any of those things.

But NORG's contract has more hidden clauses and obscure language than is humanly possible to decipher, so having failed to punish me for the octopus' departure, he quickly referred to a section of my contract that allows him to appoint the octopus' replacement, should the octopus leave on his own. If NORG could get over his damned spitefulness, he would appoint a skilled worker who would help the Arena achieve its full potential, thus increasing revenue for the mall, but he is an angry white blob, so he appointed a midget in a mask named Tobli (at least, I assume it's a mask). He claims that the rambuctious, alliteration-spewing annoyance is "excellent at PR," and like with the octopus, I am not allowed to fire him.

In happier news, more word should be released about the future of the Arena soon.

Fight 1: Battle for Third Place: Steiner versus Loz

This fight began almost exactly as everyone predicted it would. Loz's speed ensured that he had two strikes for every one of Steiner's, but Steiner's immense defense ensured that Loz needed those extra hits to do anything more than peck at Steiner's HP. Steiner quickly realized that Loz was adept at dodging, and that Steiner would need to make every hit count, so he broke Loz's armor to tip the scales in his favor. However, this accomplished almost nothing, as Loz launched a desperate offensive, landing three consecutive blows before Steiner even swung his sword. Moments later, the negative effect wore off, and Loz was on even footing again. He healed a few times, gaining an edge on his armored foe. From there it was attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, and an occasional Chakra from Loz. As the audience watched Steiner's HP slowly dwindle while Loz's remained relatively static, it became clear to all that Steiner's inability to heal made him poor at lengthy battles such as this one. The battle was one of the longest ones in this tournament, but after the initial few attacks, it was clear that the fight could never have gone Steiner's way. And with that, Steiner was pushed off the podium.

Winner: Loz

Fight 2: Championship Match: Jecht versus Ba'Gamnan

I don't know if Jecht studies his opponent's moves before each fight, but he began this bout as if Ba'Gamnan had told him his gameplan beforehand. Wasting no time, Jecht broke Ba'Gamnan's armor and his weapon, taking away his greatest two assets. Ba'Gamnan continued as usual, hasting and berserking himself but crippled as he was, it was little help to him. Ba'Gamnan survived his moment of weakness based on an ill-timed use of Reflex on Jecht's part and a lucky dodge on Ba'Gamnan's part, allowing him to weather Jecht's storm with nominal damage. Frustrated, Jecht broke Ba'Gamnan's armor again. Ba'Gamnan's luck paid out in spades this time, dodging two of Jecht's attacks and scoring an X-Potion for himself as well. With his health at full, Jecht out of MP, and Armor Break wearing off, the whole nature of the fight changed, and Ba'Gamnan sensed it. He hasted himself in preparation for a final, brutal charge. The two exchanged a series of rapid blows, but the juggernaut named Ba'Gamnan could not be stopped. The Arena was stunned. Not only had Jecht fallen to a newcomer, but it wasn't even a terribly close fight. With Sephiroth eliminated in the first round, Steiner failing to make the podium, and Jecht falling in the finals, might this spell an end of one Arena era and the beginning of the next? We shall see!

Winner: Ba'Gamnan

So that makes our podium look like this:

First place: Ba'Gamnan
Second Place: Jecht
Third Place: Loz

They shall receive their GP award, and all those who entered shall receive a bonus of 1 BP, as promised. In addition, we shall allow people to completely redesign their characters from the bottom up. However, note that we are making some changes to the VR system, so don't get too eager to make those changes until you see what we have in store. Not only are we revamping the core system, but we shall also be introducing a number of different Arena Events. We are not content to merely have tournaments, but when we come back, we shall have five or more different Arena Events that people can participate in. Now's the time to get in on the Arena action!

...And instead talk about the rebirth of the Arena! That's right, the damn tech-heads NORG sent over finally stopped playing grab-ass and watching hentai long enough to do actual work, so the Arena program is done! In a way...

Apparently, while the program is completed, it still needs to be "beta-tested" or some such nonsense. I believe that is the correct term. I don't pretend to understand this. Alma and Zalbag seem to have a fair grasp of what's going on, so I'm leaving those two in charge of much of the technical aspects of this new fighting program.

And also it is not within the tech-heads' contract to do any beta-testing, so once the code was finished, they packed up their lawn chairs and departed without a word. Which leaves us with many unanswered questions. I was eager to get things moving forward again, but Alma was reluctant to go public with something that was untested. Which is when Zalbag came up with a splendid idea. We shall test the program with a tournament!

On Friday the 14th, the Arena will have its first tournament using the revamped system. This tournament, tentatively titled "The Glitch Hunter Tournament," will use all the features of the Arena, so that we may see the program in action. We shall overload the system with NPCs who are specifically designed to try to root out glitches and weaknesses in the program, so expect some outlandish competition! You'll never know what's going to happen next, because we won't either!

Luckily, the tech-heads were kind enough to make a website that details the functions of the program to the layman (found here: http://arena.goatpen.org/information.html). Note that this is NOT the official sign-up thread, so don't enlist here. The official thread shall be made soon, so prepare yourselves for BATTLE!

So reconstruction of the Arena is complete now, and all we're waiting on is for the programmers to finish making the VR simulator. I've just finished speaking with them, and  much of the heavy-duty programming is completed, all that remains are some details and testing. But I, for one, am tired of all this waiting. The Arena is ready now, damn it! So I have convinced the programmers to release a slightly stripped-down version of the original idea so that we can begin having tournaments sooner. The program won't have all the features we want just yet, but we will be able to release it to the public very shortly! Stay tuned for news!